We Are Not Getting Another Pet | Funny Pet Lover Candle
We Are Not Getting Another Pet | Funny Pet Lover Candle
Absolutely Fucking Not
Bright bergamot and honeysuckle bloom into jasmine and warm sandalwood. Suspiciously comforting for a decision everyone swore was absolutely fucking not happening.
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THE GOOD STUFF
Everything you actually want to know.
The scent, the details, and how to keep the good decisions going.
Full product details
Scent: Absolutely Fucking Not
WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER PET
So what are we naming it?
No.
Absolutely not.
We have enough pets. We have enough food bowls. We have enough vet bills. We have enough hair attached to clothing that has never been within twenty feet of an animal.
We are not getting another pet.
Then somebody walks in holding a guinea pig.
The guinea pig is ecstatic. The kids are ecstatic. Jynx is already emotionally attached. Somehow there is a cage in your shopping cart and everyone is asking what you think of the name Pickles.
Congratulations on your new pet.
Scent: Absolutely Fucking Not
Bergamot & Honeysuckle • Jasmine • Sandalwood
Bright bergamot and honeysuckle open things up, jasmine takes over the middle, and warm sandalwood settles underneath it all.
Floral, warm, and suspiciously comforting for a decision everyone swore was not happening.
13.75 oz clear glass candle. No. 12 of 12 in the Sinscents Family Life Collection.
THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE HOUSE THAT SOMEHOW KEEPS ACQUIRING ANIMALS
At $39.99, this is a funny pet lover gift under $50 for the family member who says “no more pets” while actively making room for another food bowl.
It also makes excellent White Elephant, Yankee Swap, Dirty Santa, Secret Santa, and Christmas gift-exchange ammunition because the joke lands immediately and the candle is something people actually want to take home.
Funny enough to get stolen. Useful enough to survive past Christmas.
That’s a White Elephant gift.
Collector warning: Only 100 copies of No. 05 BFF exist, which means only 100 complete 12-candle Family Life sets can ever exist.
No pressure. Your family already supplies plenty of that.
Bad Influence. Great Candles.
Need more gift-exchange ammunition? Browse our White Elephant gifts, the Family Life Collection, or our Christmas candles and holiday gifts.
Burn it right
Keep the wick trimmed before each burn. On the first burn, let the melt pool reach the edge of the vessel when practical. Never leave a burning candle unattended, keep it away from drafts and anything flammable, and stop burning when about 1/2 inch of wax remains.
Shipping
Shipping cost and available delivery estimates are shown at checkout.
Your candle can smell incredible and have a questionable sense of humor. We see no reason to make you choose.
— OUR EXTREMELY SERIOUS BRAND PHILOSOPHY
We could’ve slapped “Live, Laugh, Love” on a jar. But then we’d have to live with ourselves.
— A STATEMENT FROM THE ART DEPARTMENT
Our sense of humor is questionable. Your checkout shouldn’t be. Shopify handles the payment. We handle the bad influence.
— THE DEPARTMENT OF ACTUAL RESPONSIBILITY
For the person who says “you shouldn’t have”—and, for once, means it. Still wants to know where you got it, though.
— OUR OFFICIAL POSITION ON GIFTING
