THE GOOD STUFF
Everything you actually want to know.
The scent, the details, and how to keep the good decisions going.
Full product details
Scent: Velvet Poison
Viper Oil Tincture
Cures nothing. Smells incredible. The salesman is still outside.
Step right up for the miracle cure that cures absolutely nothing, because this is a candle and we have met a lawyer. The bottle says Viper Oil Tincture; the scent inside answers to Velvet Poison. Black cherry, raspberry, strawberry, blackberry, and plum tumble into warm musk and sugared vanilla—dark berries dressed up for a very expensive evening and absolutely refusing to explain where they’ve been.
Light it when you want the room to smell lavish while you make decisions the label would describe as “outside our area of expertise.” The traveling medicine man promises eternal youth, perfect skin, and a suspiciously shiny wagon. We promise a great-smelling candle.
9 oz amber apothecary-style candle. No snakes consulted. No cures provided. For fragrance and entertainment only.
Burn it right
Keep the wick trimmed before each burn. On the first burn, let the melt pool reach the edge of the vessel when practical. Never leave a burning candle unattended, keep it away from drafts and anything flammable, and stop burning when about 1/2 inch of wax remains.
Shipping
Free standard U.S. shipping on every candle. Delivery estimates and applicable taxes are shown at checkout.
Your candle can smell incredible and have a questionable sense of humor. We see no reason to make you choose.
— OUR EXTREMELY SERIOUS BRAND PHILOSOPHY
We could’ve slapped “Live, Laugh, Love” on a jar. But then we’d have to live with ourselves.
— A STATEMENT FROM THE ART DEPARTMENT
Our sense of humor is questionable. Your checkout shouldn’t be. Shopify handles the payment. We handle the bad influence.
— THE DEPARTMENT OF ACTUAL RESPONSIBILITY
For the person who says “you shouldn’t have”—and, for once, means it. Still wants to know where you got it, though.
— OUR OFFICIAL POSITION ON GIFTING

