{"product_id":"snake-oil-velvet-poison","title":"Clark Stanley's Snake Oil Candle | Version 2: Velvet Poison","description":"\u003ch2\u003eClark Stanley’s Snake Oil Candle: Version 2 of 3\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVelvet Poison\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFor when the red flags are enormous, but the packaging is absolutely exquisite.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery century has that guy. Perfect posture. Beautiful coat. Says “you can trust me” before anyone’s accused him of anything. In the 1800s, he sold miracle remedies. Today he runs a wellness podcast and charges $400 to explain breathing. The business cards have gotten nicer. The bullshit remains vintage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet \u003cstrong\u003eVelvet Poison\u003c\/strong\u003e, Version 2 in our Clark Stanley snake oil candle series. Dark, indulgent and suspiciously smooth, it smells like a scandal that hired an excellent publicist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eA real Clark Stanley fact: the Massachusetts snake-oil factory\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe original Clark Stanley didn't just perform his sales pitch in a traveling show. He established production operations in \u003cstrong\u003eBeverly, Massachusetts\u003c\/strong\u003e, as well as Providence, Rhode Island. Yes, \u003cem\u003eactual Beverly, MA\u003c\/em\u003e. Not far from the Massachusetts home of Sinscents. Apparently our state has been producing bold personalities and questionable sales pitches since long before anyone thought to invent influencer marketing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe important difference? We're selling a candle. We don't promise it will fix your back, change your life, or make your ex finally understand what they lost. Although smelling this good certainly won't hurt your reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eThe scent: Velvet Poison\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eVelvety vanilla bean gets cozy with warm tonka, dark cocoa, and sugared cream. It's a rich vanilla candle with a soft, decadent finish. Think candlelit velvet curtains, expensive secrets, and the unmistakable sensation that somebody in this room has a second family in Connecticut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight it during a long bath, a night in, or the kind of dinner party where every guest is being very polite because nobody wants to be the first to mention the divorce. No actual poison. No actual velvet. We refuse to be subpoenaed over either.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVessel:\u003c\/strong\u003e 9 oz amber apothecary-style candle. A vintage-inspired, funny candle gift for anyone who appreciates luxurious fragrance and morally flexible Victorian history. For fragrance and entertainment only.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eComplete the three-version set\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou've found \u003cstrong\u003eVersion 2 of 3\u003c\/strong\u003e. Bookend your bad decisions with \u003ca href=\"\/products\/snake-oil-confidence-without-evidence\"\u003eVersion 1: Confidence Without Evidence\u003c\/a\u003e and \u003ca href=\"\/products\/snake-oil-sweet-venom\"\u003eVersion 3: Sweet Venom\u003c\/a\u003e, or \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/clark-stanleys-snake-oil-candle-series-versions-1-3\"\u003ebrowse the complete Clark Stanley snake oil series\u003c\/a\u003e. Sold separately. Side effects may include excellent taste.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWant the entire snake oil show?\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"\/products\/clark-stanley-snake-oil-candle-gift-set\"\u003eShop Clark Stanley's Rattlesnake King 3-Candle Gift Set\u003c\/a\u003e with all three versions for $89.99, saving $19.99 versus buying separately. Free standard U.S. shipping.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sinscents","offers":[{"title":"Velvet Poison \/ 9oz","offer_id":48445272260814,"sku":"SS-APO-SNAKE-VELVET-9","price":36.66,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0661\/5846\/1134\/files\/sinscents-apothecary-8840500314318_9c3b8ee4-da81-4181-8994-addb60a01830.png?v=1791871921","url":"https:\/\/sinscents.com\/products\/snake-oil-velvet-poison","provider":"Sinscents","version":"1.0","type":"link"}