{"product_id":"clean-this-shithole-funny-family-candle","title":"Clean This Shithole | Funny Family Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eCLEAN THIS SHITHOLE\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eAnd then light this candle.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour room looks like a raccoon lost a custody battle in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere are clothes on the chair. Clothes next to the chair. Clothes that have somehow achieved diplomatic immunity and can no longer be questioned about whether they’re clean or dirty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere’s a glass on the nightstand that may predate electricity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEnough.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePick up the underwear. Throw away the mystery cup. Shove everything you don’t know what to do with into a closet and close the door before it changes its mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen light the candle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause nothing says \u003cstrong\u003e“I have my shit together”\u003c\/strong\u003e quite like cleaning one room and immediately rewarding yourself for surviving it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eCLEANED ROOM\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe took Candle Builders’ Comfort Spice fragrance and gave it a name that better reflects the achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTop:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cinnamon Stick \u0026amp; Lemon Zest\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeart:\u003c\/strong\u003e Brown Sugar \u0026amp; Pralines\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBase:\u003c\/strong\u003e Vanilla Extract\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWarm cinnamon and brown sugar roll in first, lemon zest keeps the whole thing from becoming a bakery hostage situation, and vanilla and praline finish the job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDoes your room actually smell clean?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho gives a shit. It smells fantastic.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13.75 oz clear glass candle. No. 10 of 12 in the Sinscents Family Life Collection.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eTHE GIFT FOR SOMEONE WHO NEEDS TO HEAR IT\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt \u003cstrong\u003e$39.99\u003c\/strong\u003e, Clean This Shithole also happens to be excellent ammunition when somebody tells you the Christmas gift exchange has a $50 limit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBring it to a \u003cstrong\u003eWhite Elephant\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003eYankee Swap\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003eDirty Santa\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003eSecret Santa\u003c\/strong\u003e, family Christmas, office party, or whatever your people call the annual ceremony where adults steal gifts from each other and suddenly become weirdly competitive over a candle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the kind of \u003cstrong\u003efunny White Elephant gift\u003c\/strong\u003e we actually like: everybody laughs when it gets opened, then somebody immediately decides they want it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat’s the target.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot landfill crap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot another mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot something somebody politely says is “cute” before abandoning it next to the coats.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA genuinely good candle with \u003cstrong\u003eCLEAN THIS SHITHOLE\u003c\/strong\u003e written across the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat’s a \u003cstrong\u003eWhite Elephant gift\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd because there isn’t a snowman, reindeer, peppermint stripe, or inspirational fucking snowflake anywhere on it, it still makes sense on January 17th when the room has somehow become a disaster again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Christmas decorations come down.\u003cbr\u003e\nThe shithole always returns.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCollector warning:\u003c\/strong\u003e Only 100 copies of \u003cstrong\u003eNo. 05 BFF\u003c\/strong\u003e exist, which means only 100 complete 12-candle Family Life sets can ever exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo pressure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour family already supplies plenty of that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBad Influence. Great Candles.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNeed more gift-exchange ammunition? Browse our \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/white-elephant-gifts\"\u003eWhite Elephant gifts\u003c\/a\u003e, the \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/family-life-collection\"\u003eFamily Life Collection\u003c\/a\u003e, or our \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/christmas-candles\"\u003eChristmas candles and holiday gifts\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sinscents","offers":[{"title":"Clean Room \/ 13.75","offer_id":48427125506254,"sku":"FRO-CS-1","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0661\/5846\/1134\/files\/Neon_Clean_This_Shithole_Candle.png?v=1791167762","url":"https:\/\/sinscents.com\/products\/clean-this-shithole-funny-family-candle","provider":"Sinscents","version":"1.0","type":"link"}